So apparently the Hoff Crab isn't a crab or Hasselhoff, it's a Yeti Crab which isn't a crab or yeti, but a squat lobster that isn't a lobster, but an Anomuran, like mole crabs, which aren't moles or crabs. My brain hurts.
Yeti Crab
Hoff Crab
David Hasselhoff